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The Court Jester
The Newble, Marshall and Collins Awards
By Eric Morris • April 1, 2010 • 1:52 AM
Year-end accolades, part II
Summertime is almost here, and that means life without fantasy hoops. How to slog through the off-season with nary a block, a steal or a board? I am absolutely not kidding you, I once seriously contemplated joining a fantasy cricket league as my methadone for the summer. I even made a spreadsheet for the player stats. But until they invent some sort of cryonic procedure to put you in suspended animation for five months, I have no idea how to make that time of year anything less than a harrowing ordeal of searing pain. (BTW: if you’re looking for an up-and-coming orthodox off-spin bowler for this season, give Graeme Swann a hard look.)
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It's Miller Time
By Eric Morris • March 25, 2010 • 5:41 PM
Who are the biggest over- and underachievers of the season?
It’s that time of year, when the playoffs commence and the fantasy season winds down. That means it’s time to try to remember what we do to make life bearable for five empty months every year. It’s time to try to save our marriages and get reacquainted with the kids. And it’s also time to start the annual awards.
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Should You Get Addicted to Speed?
By Eric Morris • March 16, 2010 • 7:46 PM
Explaining the Don Nelson Paradox
Don Nelson, why do you torture us? You’re probably headed to the Hall of Fame. You make millions of dollars. You’re obviously not going hungry. Yet you sit up late into the night cackling and rubbing your bony hands together as you plot the ruin of fantasy owners whose only crime is to believe in one of your players. As any owner you haven’t already sent to the lunatic asylum knows, you have a bounty of guys who would be major fantasy studs if given consistent minutes and touches. The names Morrow, Randolph, Watson, and even Turiaf leap to mind. Yet the only sure bet on any given night is that Monta Ellis will get too much run and three of those other four dudes will not get enough.
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Do Stats in Fantasy Equal Wins in Reality?
By Eric Morris • March 9, 2010 • 12:26 PM
Which NBA team puts up the best numbers?
If you’re as obsessed with fantasy hoops as I am, you may not have noticed that something odd’s going on. But I’ve been discovering some weird coincidences. Certain of my players always seem to play on the same night. When guys go down injured there’s a very limited subset of players whose minutes increase. And the nightly box scores are grouped in such a way that certain players’ names always appear in close proximity. I’ve recently figured out that this is because there is another kind of basketball competition, besides fantasy, going on. It’s called the “real NBA season.”
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All-Time All-Stars, #10-1
By Eric Morris • March 1, 2010 • 12:00 PM
And the Greatest Player of All Time Is...
And now for the fifth post in this series, in which the top 10 greatest fantasy players of all time are finally revealed. In case you missed the previous posts, players 94-77 are here: http://my.nba.com/cms/109833/all-time_all-stars,_94-77, 76-52 are here: http://my.nba.com/cms/110093/all-time_all-stars,_76-52, 51 to 31 are here: http://my.nba.com/cms/111023/all-time_all-stars,_51-31, and 30-11 are here: http://my.nba.com/cms/111373/all-time_all-stars_30-11. Sorry for the long tease to get to this point. But the player statistics listed below are so massive that my computer simply doesn’t have the processing power to cope with them. After a few weeks of calculating it’s now ready to tell all…
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